Thursday, September 3, 2020

Jim Raggi's Religion Questions

An excerpt of the old Lotfp referee book. I found these questions pretty helpful and wanted them more easily accessible so let's copy-paste. I believe by answering these you'll be good to go for the higher matters in your setting. All credit to James Raggi. 

  • What is the god’s name, including epithets? ­ 
  • What is the god’s sphere of influence? ­ 
  • What does the god look like? 
  • Is the god male, female, both, or neither? ­ 
  • What is the origin of the god? ­ 
  • What does the god’s places of worship look like? ­ 
  • What are the common rituals done in honor of the god? ­
  • How do the priests of the religion dress? ­ 
  • When are the major holy days of the religion, and what do they represent? ­ 
  • What is the god’s symbol? ­ 
  • What is the religion’s attitude towards other gods? ­ 
  • What is the religion’s attitude towards heretical practices? ­ 
  • What is the religion’s attitude towards nonbelievers? ­ 
  • What is important to followers of the religion? ­ 
  • How might one please the religion? ­ 
  • How might one oŕend the religion? ­ 
  • Does the religion claim any sacred animals, monsters, devices, or phenomena? ­ 
  • Are  there any unusual  actions that the priests of the religion perform?

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Wüste - Desert S&S Setting - 20 Questions

Doing this challenge for the desert Sword & Sorcery setting I am working on. Title is a work in progress and literally means "desert". It'll probably be a Mörk Borg hack. I want it simple but with a lot of room to work in creative stuff. Desert above, dungeons below. Ruins & technology. Greedy humans & eldritch monsters. Shady greylings, devout Worms. Disgusting rituals, powerful magic. 

The classes are:
Cosmic Combatant -> Fighter
Transparent -> Thief
Enligthened -> Magic User
Manifactured -> Dwarf (?)
Grey -> Halfling (?)
Wormpriest -> Cleric




What is the deal with my Wormpriest's religion?
It's the true & correct one, of course. The worms in the earth studied deep wisdom from the Mystical Explosion. The Worm mutated, became wiser, mixed with the human and finally stands on two feet. Not equal to Man, far superior are the Wormfolk. They worship a Gnostic God said to hide behind the warmth of the Sun. The Deep God can only be found inside the core of the earth & the core of every soul.  

Where can we go to buy standard equipment?
You have the options of 1) Stealing it off a corpse or a living being 2) Buy one available at the few ultra-cap Trade-Hubs (you have the money, right?) 3) Become the slave I mean employee of a Warlord. 

Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended? 
Really, such luxery is only available in the Trade-Hubs. 

Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?
Too many died in the war supposed to answer this question that I cannot answer without shedding a tear. Every Wizard would answer: "I am!". 

Who is the greatest warrior in the land?
The most commonly told tale is that of Lentulus who is said to have been slave in his early life until he killed all in town who held authority over him. He took their riches & wealth, distributed it amongst the people. He founded the first proper Trade-Hub. His military campaign was equal parts a diplomatic trade-missions & battle against opressing rich Warlords in other cities. 

Who is the richest person in the land? 
The Booklord. A man so rich the rich merchands of the tradehubs decided to look past his flaws of enslaving a metropolis along with other facts rumours, only rumours!, of horrible crimes. The foundations of his wealth lie in his close chokehold on a large underground colony of Wormfolk and their technology. 

Where can we go to get some magical healing?
The Wormpriest Temples refuse no-one who is willing to spare at least a little of their material property, even just a rag, even a copper coin is enough. Supposedly the less you have the more free you are. 
But forget not the old saying: The water of an oasis heals body & soul when caught naked under the noon-sun.

Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?
At your local Wormpriest Temple. Depending on the procedure & equipment the Wormpriests have available, it may be difficult to properly cure more than only the symptoms. 

Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?
Wizards? Sharing? I didn't hear right?!??

Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?
They tend to settle in Wormfolk colonies or Trade-Hubs to either be in close proximity to their area of study or be available for their services easily. 

Where can I hire mercenaries?
Trade-Hubs have all you need. Too many smalltime Warlords would also offer their services if you risk to trust them. 

Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law? 
Wormfolk colonies forbid showing weaponry openly or carrying non-divine magical items. Tradehubs aren't fond of it either but hate untaxed trading even more. 

Which way to the nearest tavern?
Where there's people & a roof there's either a family or a tavern. 

What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?
To kill an Archon, one of the 9 large Monster-Kings in service of the Old God, would ensure your name will be sung in legends. 

Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
The Wormfolk are pushing a few Tradehubs to war with the Sandmans but so far nothing happened due to the Tradehub's reluctance to start a war now during this phase of ceasefire with the Booklord. The perpetual problems raiders cause don't help much. 
A wizard starts a war seemingly every other week against another wizard. 
The few Greyling-groups are fighting against the Archons (or so they say) but the battlefield is unclear as well as how the war is proceeding. But the Archons don't fight, they only create living tools of demise by turning the hate of the sand sentient and into physical form. Monsters. 

How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?
Every Raider settlement has a form of bloodsport but only the Booklord is able to make such an "investment" like an arena for entertainment alone. That's your best bet. 

Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?
The Greylings undermine everything. A cult of the Old God is always hiding beneath the surface. There is talk of Wormfolk heretics. A Wizard might take you in as apprentice. If you don't care for subtlety, join a raider group. 

What is there to eat around here?
Rice-stuffed vegetables, grape leaves, shawerma, kebab, kofta and other meals available in Egypt. 
Lamb, foie gras.

Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?
Famous is the First Cup. Legend says heating this cup when sand fills it to the brim will turn the contents into clear water. Only a legend, of course, but it still a tradition for Scavengers to test any cups they find if it might not be this one after all. You never know.  
Other than that, seek out a ruin and see what's in there. Look for a means to go underground and scavenge bursting technology. 

Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?
The Archons can provide you with such extensive loot. Their creations may also count if they've lived long enough so far. Too many monsters.



Monday, August 17, 2020

1d10 reasons to walk down the dungeon again

 A table to spice up megadungeons when it starts to feel like aimless dying left & right. 

  1. Those lost fools! An adventuring party went down a few days ago and didn't come up yet. Please find out what happened to them. Roll 1d6: 1-3 They're all dead 4-5 A few died and the rest are gravely injured 6 They're all alive and loaded. Reward: Gold & possibly partners/rivals. 
  2. A special ingredient. The Inn-cook wants to create a new soup but needs 1d4 new ingredients. Drop that amount of dice on the map, that's where they can be found (redrop if room is already explored). Reward: Special soup at the inn now available. Heals 1d8. Free for you.  
  3. Eureka. Academic wishes to study the underground's 1d4 1 Fauna 2 Monsters 3 Stonework 4 Water. Bring them there, protect them for 2d6 turns and get back up. Reward: Gold and credit in an academic paper published a month later. Fame. 
  4. Blood & Gore. A few tourists with peculiar taste want to travel down into the dungeon and see some viscera & violence. Show them brutal battles or death. Reward: An unreasonable amount of gold & a bad reputation for entertaining the weirdos. Fame among those weirdos, new ones will come. 
  5. A muse. A mediocre artist looks for inspiration in the "mythical underworld". Bring them to a place that would make a good picture. They'll paint for 2d8 + 6 turns. Reward: The painting and nothing else. Artists are poor. Nice picture though. 
  6. Map Fans. The local Cartography Club would love to map the underground but they're nerds and don't dare to go down. They would be willing to purchase a complete map you made of a floor. Depending on the quality, the reward varies. Reward: Gold based on map quality (notes & readability)
  7. Where might it be? A pet ran into the dungeon and didn't come back yet. The owner is worried and rich enough to have nothing else to be worried about. Put the animal on the encounter table or inside a mean monster's lair. Reward: Gold & a favor from the patron whose pet you rescued. 
  8. Oh no, logistics! The shopkeeper, metalsmith and adventurer's guild teamed up. They want to provide service for adventurer's inside the dungeon, sell swords & goods. First they need to find a good spot and then bring all the wares down. From then on it's protecting the place from monsters. Make up the heaviness of the wares for your encumbrance system yourself. Ideally it slows down and takes a lot of people. Reward: A dungeon shop. A cut from the shop's income. 
  9. It's not vandalism if it's in a dungeon. The adventurer's guild argues that proper information would keep a lot of people from dying. They want you to write grafitti in key locations for other adventurers. Reward: Gold. A higher influx of rivals stealing your money. 
  10. Some goddamn peace & quiet. Local monk is sick of civilization's noises. Bring them down, somewhere quiet and safe. Pick them up again in 108 days when they completed their mediational practice and reached englightenment. Their presence is almost invisible so monsters ignore them but rumours spread in town from rivals. Reward: Can 1d4 spells for every Spell-level. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

7:7 2020 - Review of all Mörk Borg Cult releases so far

Happy Mörk Borg Day! I'm going through all things Mörk Borg Cult published prior to this horrible day. If Blogger works this is published automatically on 7/7 at 07:07 in the evening. 

If you don't know, Mörk Borg Cult is the fanlabel organised by the Mörk Borg author & designer Pelle Nilsson and Johan Nohr. Idea is to hit them up with a cool idea and if they like it they'll dress it up nicely and publish it for free for all to enjoy. 

This is fantastic when you consider the amount of work that goes into a simple free supplement. It's not just two column plaintext with a few spelling errors less: The graphic design & art is incredible. 

You can grab all releases for free on their website! Here's my review of each of them. I'll give a short paragraph of my thoughts, tell if I used it in play so far and a score of 1 to 7 Miseries. All art & graphic design is done by Johan Nohr. 

Unheroic Feats by Johnny Carhat

Mörk Borg has a classless option which lacks the items/abilities offered by the optional classes for better stats overall and being all-around good. This supplement is made to give said classless losers a little extra, Feats on levelup or when other cool diegetic shit happens. That's my personal little love: classless characters who learn cool stuff ingame rather than starting with batteries included. 

I don't fancy the advancement system of MB but with this collection of feats it gets all the better. They're not balanced at all and in combination with each other could produce horrible results. I love that! That's what feats are all about, finding their weakness and attacking head on! 

Art is disgusting and lovely. The writing is on the point. 36 feats in 6 pages + a titlepage (7 pages total. Coincidence?) Mr Carhat and Mr Nohr did an amazing job. 

Have I played/used it yet: No
Score: 7/7
Excerpt: 

Overland Travel by Svante Landgraf

I think this was the first release of MBC too. I remember it appearing before I even got the book in the mail. 
Mörk Borg doesn't use exact measurements so to make Overland Travel rules you can't rely on the already established formula of 6-mile-hexes as you usually find in games (added to that: There's no official size for the continent Mörk Borg takes places on. It doesn't even have a name). 

In the beginning of the book there's a neat quote: Distances shift. Paths between places warp. 
I'm unaware if Mr Landgraf took notice of this quote when he designed the rules but he did a great job at putting this prose to mechanics. The major landmarks have roads between them, each of which gets a dice associated with it. Travelling from Galgenback to Alkáns? Roll a d10+10. 
Look at the next page for some useful tables: Road condition, events, when you go hunting, what the village you entered is like and what you come across when you travel offroad for half a day. 

This is a fantastic little repertoire and a referee not scared of improv can make a full adventuring session just by rolling on some of these tables. So far my campaigns were always site-based so I never got to use it but I'd love to 100%. 
Some nitpicking: A few extra entries would've been nice for the village. I doubt every sixth village is ruled by spider cultists or cannibals. That seems so specific. A referee is advised to grab another table to go well with these. 
I'd probably also get rid of the modifiers of the distance (but that's just my taste) to amp up the weirdness. What? It took only a day to walk across the continent? 

Have I played/used it yet: No
Score6/7
Excerpt: 


Eat Prey Kill by Karl Druid

Hunting was mentioned in the previous section and this supplement is all about that and what you c an hunt to. Right now it is the biggest piece of MBC with 13 pages. Those 13 pages have one artpiece, a titlecard and 6 * 9 monsters. Yes, 54 monsters pread across 13 pages. It's incredible. 

The art is frightening and the ideas often incredibly unique. The closest thing I could compare this to is Veins of the Earth if it rambled less. The ideas are either completly new animals or a take on an existing one. Yes it's a duck but it's an Unresting Duck which flies in the air perpetually and never ever touches the ground. They're weak, hard to hit and d8 show up at your doorstep. Would you survive? 

There's also the Howlbear from Annihilation and the Groan from Moomins. I love this. 

Have I played/used it yet: Yes, a few monsters. 
Score: 7/7
Excerpt: 


The Bone Bowyer by Matthew Bottiglieri

A NPC. Provides a cool magic item if you do something horrible. A bit of prose for inspo. 
It's not something you can put on the gaming table immediately (the Bowyer's demands are rather cruel) but what's there is cool. Nice art as usual. 

Have I played/used it yet: No
Score: 5/7
Excerpt: 



The Death Ziggurat by Carl Niblaeus

I love it. A Cosmic Necrocrawl. I kicked off my recent campaign with this adventure and it's fantastic and leaves a lot of good room for continuing or stocking hexes yourself. 

But you don't have to! It works like this: You go to a sinkhole with a lovely hexmap provided. Some setpieces are premade, others need to be rolled up as you discover them. Additionally there's a big table with events that change whatever is on there when you approach. 
Suddenly the demon you try to kill is standing right in front of you. At another time it may only be the wind. Incredibly useful tables and an cool take on hexcrawls. 

It's not without its flaws (but what are flaws if not another man's way of doing things?): The most important item in the sinkhole, the Spiral Crown, sends you to the edge of existence and a bit beyond that if you fail three tests. Ad verbum: "...the wearer is irrevocably lost to the Cosmos". What it actually does to the character? I dunno. I guess they're gone. 

The titular Death Ziggurat is not provided. Just grab a dungeon from somewhere like this one. It should do the job. 

I don't have a serious problem with what I mentioned above as I like improv and reading a short bit of prose and then riffing off that but I mention it because not everyone is like that and many prefer concrete effects/places. 

Art is great! Wonderful creature design! Sends shivers down my spine. Two great NPCs. 

Have I played/used it yet: Yes
Score: 7/7
Excerpt: 


BLOAT by Greg Saunders

DISGUSTING! I'm glad it exists. It makes me sick to my stomach and reminds me of the film Taxidermia. A onepage dungeon using a Dyson Logo map is filled with truly disgusting golems and their masters. You can't look at it without noticing the elephant-sized block of meat with a semblance of consciousness in the lower middle of the page. 

It's simple. It knows what it wants to do (sicken you and provide a fun crawl). It's ideal. I can't find any flaws except maybe for one: There's not much in terms of treasure here. The whole enviroment feels like a negadungeon (a place you have no reason to go to that will TPK you for certain). The strong monsters (who all posess a distinct weakness) support my idea. Not bad if you're into that and considering the system you probably.

Again, I think it's cool. I'd say it's more useful to run as a oneoff (as opposed to in a campaign) when you and your mates have had a few and you feel like a bit of a grossout before heading home. Very pickup & play. I'd love to run it sometime. Might bring it with me on the next night out together with the book.

For a campaign: Add a plothook, add some loot and you're good to go. 

Have I played/used it yet: No 
Score: 7/7
Excerpt: 


Sacrilegious Songbird by Karl Druid

Mörk Borg has a bard class now! Fucking hell. I don't like bards but I like this one, he plays a Hurdy Gurdy. I like the idea of a deal being the background. A deal with whom? A deal for what? Good starting point for inspiration. This might be my favorite background table. 

The items are all instruments with a good variety and usefulness. A bit of a support possibly (as bards tend to be). 

The art is leaving me a little colder than usual I have to admit. I love the palette of the green rain, purple flesh and scarlet hurd gurdy but I find the depicted songsman to look like a sasquatch. It's not my favorite piece but not bad my any means. 
I'm not dying to have this class be picked by a player. It's a good one but my obvious anti-bard bias is showing and influencing my decisions. Help! Someone help! 

Have I played/used it yet: No
Score: 5/7
Excerpt: 


Dead God's Prophet by Greg Saunders

If Songbird was the class I'm least excited to see, Dead God's Prophet is the opposite. This class hits all the boxes for me! Dead Gods! Zealous prophets! You roll up the name of your God and make them up yourself too! I want a player picking this! I want to play this myself! I love it! 

You get two gifts out of eight and you're generally not the physical type (but rather the mystic self-absorbed!). The titles given for the "gifts" leave me daydreaming. My Body A Vessel. In Death I live. Lord of Nothing. The gifts in itself? Omnious and useful.  
The artwork hits all the notes. It's my favorite we've seen in MBC so far. It instantly reminded me of Cabinet of Doctor Caligari. 

You reading this! I'd run a solo adventure for you exclusively just to give this class more spotlight. My number is 911. 

Have I played/used it yet: NO!! HOW CAN THIS BE?
Score: 7/7
Excerpt: 


Pale One by Tim Rudloff

The Pale One is originally a hireling provided in the MB-book. A cool creature filled with scarled mysticism and romantic nihilism. At least that's how it was played at my table (unfortunately only a oneoff). Really cool class. Least human one offered so far and the abilities show that: Too Many Eyes. Membranous Wings. Uses magic freely so it's a very different caster class. 

You get a big table for rolling your name to really strike home just how unusual and otherwordly you are. Vitriolic Drowns the Damned. Lyrical Weaves the Aether.
The origins here could be used as plot hooks too for Pale One NPCs. 

I'm fond of the art here too. This one reminded me of Blame! by Nihei Tsutomonu (Cibo espescially). Elegance found in something not at all human.

Have I played/used it yet: Yes and I'd like to see it again. 
Score: 7/7
Excerpt: 


Cursed Skinwalker by Karl Druid

A table favorite. You can painfully transform into one of six beings, each of them with unique abilities. A Raven or a Doomsaying Monkey? A Murderplagued Rat, Bear or Lizard? Roll a d6 and find out (hint: the rat is ridiculously good).
You died before and your backgrounds give you options where and when. Neat idea. 

In my campagin we've had a Cursed Skinwalker and the player told me directly how fond he is of the class he got. In my first Mörk Borg game we also had a bear player who had an incredibly fun time running around half-bear half-human. This might just be the best class out of all MBC has had so far. Put it in your game, it's that good. 

Art is on point. Depicts a wolf. With the signs it looks a bit tribal.

Have I played/used it yet: Yes
Score: 7/7
Excerpt: 


Sappy Outro Words

Did you count how many entries received 7 out of 7 Miseries? 7 exactly. It's all connected. 

That was everything we got to see so far! But more will come. The Feretory zine collects many of the above along with unique new content written by Pelle Nilsson. Don't miss out on it (or get it when it's available again). 
I want to point the following out too: You can get everything I reviewed for free. Gratis. No strings attached. It's all made for the love of the game. 

In just a year amazing content has been made and I wholeheartedly believe it wouldn't be like this if it wasn't made by such cool and welcoming people. It's an incredible service of wonderful Johan Nohr and Pelle Nilsson to do all of it for free. They know what they want out of their own game, their style is confident but incredibly accessible due to their own easy-to-approach personality. Thanks guys for your game! (this is me coping for the fact I've been cursed by this book since pledging on Kickstarter. No day has passed in which I didn't think of it. Help me, my mind is crumbling. My sleep is stolen by my cruel devotion to swedish metalheads. It's never too late for fika.)

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Agri-Counterculture - Ten Wacky Farmproducts to Battle

Agri-Counterculture here collects 10 enemies that one would presumably meet while looting a cursed orchard. Each is weird because I have a hard time being serious. 
The stats are available for general OSR games (written with OSE in mind) and Mörk Borg. 
Selling prices are given in Silver Standard. 


I'm copy-pasting them down here too so you can see if it's worth the 73.4 kilobytes in memory. 
I want to mention a thank you to the friendly drawfriend from /osrg/ who gave us the wonderful image for the psychedelic pears. Luv your monster illos dude. Thank you.

Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading. 

Introduction

It’s a given that this vile earth will produce nothing but foul harvest and worse. Yet there are still many who try and spread seeds on their fields with false hope. Soon they learn that all one may reap is misfortune and death. 


Collected here are products of a soil that has had enough, that would rather shake its body seven times to rid itself of the stinking parasites that we living creatures are.

Beware the products of agriculture. 

Note: Almost every beast leaves behind seeds. PCs can use them to build their own orchard. 


Bestiary

  1. Cowardly Fruit of Knowledge:

Highly sought after, these Apples are not only delicious but provide the consumer with vitamins enough to rest and ease the mind. Eating one alive heals 1d6 HP and reduces DR for Spells down to 8 for the next hour, heals dizziness too. Well, it would if it didn’t run away so quickly. 

They know people want them so they are quick on the take and careful in their steps. Without a contraption or quick feet, you won’t get them so easily. 

Its soul is what gives you Power. Dead it’s worth no more than a ration. 


Hitpoints: 2 

Armor: None

Morale: 3

Attack: 1, they won’t fight.

Special: They will flee as soon as they can. Trying to grab a hold of one requires a test of Agility DR14. 


Selling Price:

Alive: 60s

Dead: 5s, nothing but a snack.


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Holding metaphysical discussion in applespeech.

  2. Scouting for hiding places.

  3. Looking among the roots of trees for companions. 

  4. They heard you! The Apples are hiding in the bushes.

2. Corn-Cavalry

The largest in number when it comes to agricultural products. This got to their head. Their culture was afraid of overpopulation and abuse from other species. Nobody can push us around so easily! Only we can do that! 

Through arrogance their yellow, thin, barely thinking, delicious bodies set up a highly complex and militant culture consisting of a fighting population entirely made of Corn-cob-Soldiers. Corn-cob-cops. The defenders of the orchard. Nobody asked them for it but it’s what they do. 


Hitpoints: 6 (appear in a squad of four) 

Armor: -1d4

Morale: 10

Attack: Roll a 1d6 on the weapons table. 

Special: Their corn is explosive. When in contact with acid or fire it will pop and deal 1 damage for every 100 kernels (1d8. One corn cob has an average of about 800 kernels. Triggering acids includes stomach acids.)

With a bottle and some paper one can make corn-bombs. 


Selling Price:

Alive: 30s

Dead: 18s


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Trying to remember orders their leader gave this morning.

  2. Guarding the next gate/door in the area. 

  3. Scolding one other random agricultural-product for stepping over a pedantic law only they know of (roll 1d10 or choose)

  4. Skinning a fallen companion and gathering their kernels to use for bomb-building. A few cobs are crying after them even though emotions are not allowed in the field. 

Stay out of trouble

3. Sour Cow

A massive vehicle of an animal. An incoming car crash. Why wouldn’t animals have the privilege or growing deranged as well in our times? This Cow has all the reasons to be as sour as it is: Mistreatment. Neglection. Metaphysics. The Economy. You can’t call it “irrational anger”.

There is not a world of difference between you and this Cow.


Hitpoints: 38

Armor: None

Morale: 10

Attack: Bite d6 / Charge d8 / Sour Milk d4

Special: The aggressive Sour Cow will charge into combat when visual contact with the enemy is made. DR12 Agility to dodge the cow. It will run past its target for a large enough distance to charge again. It will do so until its opponent is near or hit. 

It will focus on one foe and not stop until they are dead. 


It can aim its udder (1d4 charges lol) and shoot a target with sour milk for 1d4 damage. 

The acid will reduce the armor tier by one. The foul smell will attract other creatures on a 1 in 6. 


Selling Price:

Alive: 80s

Dead: 50s

Udder: 20s 


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Chasing another creature they spotted in the distance.

  2. Lying in obvious hiding, waiting for the next target to get close.

  3. Feeding on the carcass of another creature. It’s not enough.

  4. Faking an injury so other creatures come closer. Overdone painful moos. 


4. Dung

Shit speaks! Sure wish it didn’t! In guttural sounds it lamentates its existence as a literal piece of filth, self-pitying and depressed. It complains about its situation and insults itself.

Talking to it is a mistake, this is how they bind you to it. Encouraging words will only fuel its destructive cycle of misery and manipulation.

They have no intention of bettering themselves, saying they’re too weak. They’d rather continue to complain and bother everyone. They don’t care about you obviously. They only want to talk about their painful existence. Not popular at parties or with fairly-adjusted people.


Hitpoints: Can’t die through weapons, will split into multiple pieces which keep on complaining. 

For spells, treat as if they had 1 HP. 

Armor: None

Morale: 4

Attack: Nasal penetration 1d4 per turn (foul smell hurts when exposed to for a long time)

Special: They hug the feet of a creature close by and begin to dry, the creature forever bound to hear the Dung bash itself in mean shit-talk. 

Can be dodged (Agility DR8) but this will fuel the Dung with even more anxiety and self-hatred. 

A creature bound can be freed with a bit of digging and hard work.


Selling Price:

Nobody is going to buy your shit


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Lying in mud. 

  2. Crying at the feet of a creature, not realizing it’s long dead. 

  3. Having a breakdown (loud and mean insults against itself)

  4. Trying to manipulate an intelligent creature into staying
    (Are you going to leave me like everyone else? It’s no surprise! I am literal shit after all! I can’t do anything right! I thought you were my only friend. I am disgusted and gross, why would anyone want to be with me?!) 

  1. Gross Grapes

The Gross Grapes are a round, pudgy mistake. Its body soft and squishy, torn apart with scars and wrinkles, reminds of mutated raisins. A perpetual smile sticks on their face. 

They mean not to harm you, the torment they cause is only a byproduct in their search for nourishment. They devour each other if they have no other means of food.


They know you’re coming, they heard it through the grapevine. 


Hitpoints: 9

Armor: -1d6

Morale: 7

Attack: Acidic Teeth d6

Special: When bitten they cannot roll for Armor but they will scream for help to call other Grapes. 1d4-1 appear. 


Selling Price:

Captured: 60s

Dead: 30s

Pieces of Grape: 6s (can be harvested for 1d4 per corpse)


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Standing in an Ouroboros-cycle where every Grape scratches off and eats a piece from the one to their right. 

  2. Laugh incessantly caused by squeezing one of their fallen. The purple soup surging from the Gross-Grape-Corpse amuses them. 

  3. Eating weird things in the area.

  4. Old, pregnant Grape in labor. Two new Baby-Grabes burst out of her. Every Grabe assembled feels touched and in awe. 

6. Hen and Her Horrible Offspring

A foul animal twisted into birthing cursed offsprings. They prefer a peaceful domain, undisturbed, with no one stealing their children away or causing pain. They sit in their nests which are located near houses or huts, alarming the residents with a shrill scream.

 

Hitpoints: 16

Armor: None

Morale: 9

Attack: Beak 1d4 

Special: 

War-Siren: Warns all other creatures in the area. Chance for random encounters doubled. Random creature appears (roll 1d10)

Lays a new egg every round not moving or attacking. Will send them into the fight. 


Selling Price:

Alive: 35s

Dead: 16s

Eyes: 12s


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Brooding on a nest, sleeping and warming its children.

  2. Sorting out their eggs, classifying the good and the bad ones. 

  3. Fighting with another Hen for territory. 

  4. Pecking the kernels of a Corn-Cavalry.

7. Hen’s Eggs

Black eggs with legs. Explode on impact. Can be used as ammunition or grenade. 


Hitpoints: 6 (treat as swarm with 6 Eggs)

Armor: None

Morale: 6

Attack: Explode! 1d2 damage per Egg in swarm

Special:


Selling Price:

Alive: 6s

Dead: Useless



8. Lettuce run, quick!

A gigantic ball of lettuce. Two eyes that close themselves when it starts rolling after you. 

It doesn’t need you as food or as sacrifice or anything like that. It will kill you because it’s fun to chase and roll over people. Every car-owner has had to deal with these urges and this Lettuce embraces them. 

Non unpopular as traps.


Hitpoints: 24

Armor: None

Morale: 12

Attack: Roll over creature 1d12 (falling dice-size)

Special: Shrinks in size when a fourth of its health is lost. Damage dice reduced to the next dice-size (1d12>1d10>1d8>1d6). 


Selling Price:

Size of the Lettuce-ball matters when selling it.

Alive: 48s multiplied with its current HP divided by total HP (e.g: 48 * (12/24) = 24)

Dead: 18s multiplied with its current HP divided by total HP

Salad Eyes: 16s 

 

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Charging against an obstacle as part of training.

  2. Bouncing in excitement.

  3. Sleeping.

  4. Rolling through the next linear hallway.

9. Probably Psychedelic Pears

These pears grew up next to Uncle Fester’s lil mushroom colony. While they ripened on the outside, they did so on the inside also. They’ve reached abilities and understanding you will never experience and have only heard about from a hippie who said something about humans only using a small part of the brain and something something psionics at 100% usage. 

Tim Leary was right but he was talking about the wrong species: It’s the Pears! 


They have only legs and a big, juicy body. Their insides are filled with weird brain matter. Communication, with you and with each other, is done telepathically.


Hitpoints: 6

Armor: None

Morale: They know when to flee and when to fight. 

Attack: Psionic blast 1d8 (roll Presence for Defense).

Special: 

Telekinesis: They are able to levitate normal-sized objects which they will use for defense so you don’t get too close. 

Teleport: After concentrating for 2 rounds they can teleport to any spot in a 12 mile radius. 


When consumed test Presence DR12. On a success you gain the ability of Telekinesis & Teleport for the next hour. On a failure, you still learn Telekinesis but you talk hippie-bullshit too. 

On a fumble, you only talk hippie-bullshit. 


Selling Price:

Alive: 38s

Dead: 20s

Brain: 12s



What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Astrally travelling through the 4th wall and appearing in front of you (GM should prepare pears and put them on the table now.) Might or might not try to communicate with the players. Might or might not be the last straw before your friends think you’re a lunatic.

  2. The pears openly talk of manipulating the GM psychically. If they are not stopped, the GM will lose their impartiality and root for the pears over the players. Play dirty. 

  3. They test their abilities on a Sour Cow. They will stand in front of one and stare until it falls over. Success on a 4 in 6. 

  4. Attempting to construct a dimensional gate to a plane not befallen by the apocalypse. There is none and they know it but they have nothing better to pass the time with.

made by anon

10. Thirsty Tomatoes

Their small size, red colour and fanged mouth is rather cute when you ignore their bloodsucking nature. Be careful when trotting through bushes for Tomatoes that await you there! They jump on a creature, bite right in and suck their blood. The wounds left behind heal slower, bleed harsher than when the Tomato sucked on it still. 

Comparable to when a knife in an accident gets stuck in your gut. Don’t pull it out! That will only make it worse.


Hitpoints: 1

Armor: None

Morale: 4 

Attack: Suck Blood 1d2 

Special: Hide in a secret spot and jump on a creature. A sudden sharp ding when they bite in like a tick. 1d3 damage for every 10-minute-turn the Tomato sticks to the body. They let off after sucking a total of 8 points of health, having grown in thrice the size. 

Needs to be removed surgically. Brute-force leads to harsh bleeding (Infection or 1d6 per turn). 


Selling Price:

Alive (normal): 8s

Dead (normal): 3s

Alive (sucked a lot of blood): 20s

Dead (filled with a lot of blood): 10s


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Sucking away at a Sour Cow. Many vomit the blood back up, indigestible.

  2. Disguise themselves among the bed of roses here. 

  3. A nest of tomatoes builds an abode out of the corpse of a human. 

  4. Lying in wait at the next gate out of this area, hoping the party comes close enough.


Copyright by Konami