Tuesday, July 7, 2020

7:7 2020 - Review of all Mörk Borg Cult releases so far

Happy Mörk Borg Day! I'm going through all things Mörk Borg Cult published prior to this horrible day. If Blogger works this is published automatically on 7/7 at 07:07 in the evening. 

If you don't know, Mörk Borg Cult is the fanlabel organised by the Mörk Borg author & designer Pelle Nilsson and Johan Nohr. Idea is to hit them up with a cool idea and if they like it they'll dress it up nicely and publish it for free for all to enjoy. 

This is fantastic when you consider the amount of work that goes into a simple free supplement. It's not just two column plaintext with a few spelling errors less: The graphic design & art is incredible. 

You can grab all releases for free on their website! Here's my review of each of them. I'll give a short paragraph of my thoughts, tell if I used it in play so far and a score of 1 to 7 Miseries. All art & graphic design is done by Johan Nohr. 

Unheroic Feats by Johnny Carhat

Mörk Borg has a classless option which lacks the items/abilities offered by the optional classes for better stats overall and being all-around good. This supplement is made to give said classless losers a little extra, Feats on levelup or when other cool diegetic shit happens. That's my personal little love: classless characters who learn cool stuff ingame rather than starting with batteries included. 

I don't fancy the advancement system of MB but with this collection of feats it gets all the better. They're not balanced at all and in combination with each other could produce horrible results. I love that! That's what feats are all about, finding their weakness and attacking head on! 

Art is disgusting and lovely. The writing is on the point. 36 feats in 6 pages + a titlepage (7 pages total. Coincidence?) Mr Carhat and Mr Nohr did an amazing job. 

Have I played/used it yet: No
Score: 7/7

Overland Travel by Svante Landgraf

I think this was the first release of MBC too. I remember it appearing before I even got the book in the mail. 
Mörk Borg doesn't use exact measurements so to make Overland Travel rules you can't rely on the already established formula of 6-mile-hexes as you usually find in games (added to that: There's no official size for the continent Mörk Borg takes places on. It doesn't even have a name). 

In the beginning of the book there's a neat quote: Distances shift. Paths between places warp. 
I'm unaware if Mr Landgraf took notice of this quote when he designed the rules but he did a great job at putting this prose to mechanics. The major landmarks have roads between them, each of which gets a dice associated with it. Travelling from Galgenback to Alkáns? Roll a d10+10. 
Look at the next page for some useful tables: Road condition, events, when you go hunting, what the village you entered is like and what you come across when you travel offroad for half a day. 

This is a fantastic little repertoire and a referee not scared of improv can make a full adventuring session just by rolling on some of these tables. So far my campaigns were always site-based so I never got to use it but I'd love to 100%. 
Some nitpicking: A few extra entries would've been nice for the village. I doubt every sixth village is ruled by spider cultists or cannibals. That seems so specific. A referee is advised to grab another table to go well with these. 
I'd probably also get rid of the modifiers of the distance (but that's just my taste) to amp up the weirdness. What? It took only a day to walk across the continent? 

Have I played/used it yet: No

Eat Prey Kill by Karl Druid

Hunting was mentioned in the previous section and this supplement is all about that and what you c an hunt to. Right now it is the biggest piece of MBC with 13 pages. Those 13 pages have one artpiece, a titlecard and 6 * 9 monsters. Yes, 54 monsters pread across 13 pages. It's incredible. 

The art is frightening and the ideas often incredibly unique. The closest thing I could compare this to is Veins of the Earth if it rambled less. The ideas are either completly new animals or a take on an existing one. Yes it's a duck but it's an Unresting Duck which flies in the air perpetually and never ever touches the ground. They're weak, hard to hit and d8 show up at your doorstep. Would you survive? 

There's also the Howlbear from Annihilation and the Groan from Moomins. I love this. 

Have I played/used it yet: Yes, a few monsters. 
Score: 7/7

The Bone Bowyer by Matthew Bottiglieri

A NPC. Provides a cool magic item if you do something horrible. A bit of prose for inspo. 
It's not something you can put on the gaming table immediately (the Bowyer's demands are rather cruel) but what's there is cool. Nice art as usual. 

Have I played/used it yet: No
Score: 5/7

The Death Ziggurat by Carl Niblaeus

I love it. A Cosmic Necrocrawl. I kicked off my recent campaign with this adventure and it's fantastic and leaves a lot of good room for continuing or stocking hexes yourself. 

But you don't have to! It works like this: You go to a sinkhole with a lovely hexmap provided. Some setpieces are premade, others need to be rolled up as you discover them. Additionally there's a big table with events that change whatever is on there when you approach. 
Suddenly the demon you try to kill is standing right in front of you. At another time it may only be the wind. Incredibly useful tables and an cool take on hexcrawls. 

It's not without its flaws (but what are flaws if not another man's way of doing things?): The most important item in the sinkhole, the Spiral Crown, sends you to the edge of existence and a bit beyond that if you fail three tests. Ad verbum: "...the wearer is irrevocably lost to the Cosmos". What it actually does to the character? I dunno. I guess they're gone. 

The titular Death Ziggurat is not provided. Just grab a dungeon from somewhere like this one. It should do the job. 

I don't have a serious problem with what I mentioned above as I like improv and reading a short bit of prose and then riffing off that but I mention it because not everyone is like that and many prefer concrete effects/places. 

Art is great! Wonderful creature design! Sends shivers down my spine. Two great NPCs. 

Have I played/used it yet: Yes
Score: 7/7

BLOAT by Greg Saunders

DISGUSTING! I'm glad it exists. It makes me sick to my stomach and reminds me of the film Taxidermia. A onepage dungeon using a Dyson Logo map is filled with truly disgusting golems and their masters. You can't look at it without noticing the elephant-sized block of meat with a semblance of consciousness in the lower middle of the page. 

It's simple. It knows what it wants to do (sicken you and provide a fun crawl). It's ideal. I can't find any flaws except maybe for one: There's not much in terms of treasure here. The whole enviroment feels like a negadungeon (a place you have no reason to go to that will TPK you for certain). The strong monsters (who all posess a distinct weakness) support my idea. Not bad if you're into that and considering the system you probably.

Again, I think it's cool. I'd say it's more useful to run as a oneoff (as opposed to in a campaign) when you and your mates have had a few and you feel like a bit of a grossout before heading home. Very pickup & play. I'd love to run it sometime. Might bring it with me on the next night out together with the book.

For a campaign: Add a plothook, add some loot and you're good to go. 

Have I played/used it yet: No 
Score: 7/7

Sacrilegious Songbird by Karl Druid

Mörk Borg has a bard class now! Fucking hell. I don't like bards but I like this one, he plays a Hurdy Gurdy. I like the idea of a deal being the background. A deal with whom? A deal for what? Good starting point for inspiration. This might be my favorite background table. 

The items are all instruments with a good variety and usefulness. A bit of a support possibly (as bards tend to be). 

The art is leaving me a little colder than usual I have to admit. I love the palette of the green rain, purple flesh and scarlet hurd gurdy but I find the depicted songsman to look like a sasquatch. It's not my favorite piece but not bad my any means. 
I'm not dying to have this class be picked by a player. It's a good one but my obvious anti-bard bias is showing and influencing my decisions. Help! Someone help! 

Have I played/used it yet: No
Score: 5/7

Dead God's Prophet by Greg Saunders

If Songbird was the class I'm least excited to see, Dead God's Prophet is the opposite. This class hits all the boxes for me! Dead Gods! Zealous prophets! You roll up the name of your God and make them up yourself too! I want a player picking this! I want to play this myself! I love it! 

You get two gifts out of eight and you're generally not the physical type (but rather the mystic self-absorbed!). The titles given for the "gifts" leave me daydreaming. My Body A Vessel. In Death I live. Lord of Nothing. The gifts in itself? Omnious and useful.  
The artwork hits all the notes. It's my favorite we've seen in MBC so far. It instantly reminded me of Cabinet of Doctor Caligari. 

You reading this! I'd run a solo adventure for you exclusively just to give this class more spotlight. My number is 911. 

Have I played/used it yet: NO!! HOW CAN THIS BE?
Score: 7/7

Pale One by Tim Rudloff

The Pale One is originally a hireling provided in the MB-book. A cool creature filled with scarled mysticism and romantic nihilism. At least that's how it was played at my table (unfortunately only a oneoff). Really cool class. Least human one offered so far and the abilities show that: Too Many Eyes. Membranous Wings. Uses magic freely so it's a very different caster class. 

You get a big table for rolling your name to really strike home just how unusual and otherwordly you are. Vitriolic Drowns the Damned. Lyrical Weaves the Aether.
The origins here could be used as plot hooks too for Pale One NPCs. 

I'm fond of the art here too. This one reminded me of Blame! by Nihei Tsutomonu (Cibo espescially). Elegance found in something not at all human.

Have I played/used it yet: Yes and I'd like to see it again. 
Score: 7/7

Cursed Skinwalker by Karl Druid

A table favorite. You can painfully transform into one of six beings, each of them with unique abilities. A Raven or a Doomsaying Monkey? A Murderplagued Rat, Bear or Lizard? Roll a d6 and find out (hint: the rat is ridiculously good).
You died before and your backgrounds give you options where and when. Neat idea. 

In my campagin we've had a Cursed Skinwalker and the player told me directly how fond he is of the class he got. In my first Mörk Borg game we also had a bear player who had an incredibly fun time running around half-bear half-human. This might just be the best class out of all MBC has had so far. Put it in your game, it's that good. 

Art is on point. Depicts a wolf. With the signs it looks a bit tribal.

Have I played/used it yet: Yes
Score: 7/7

Sappy Outro Words

Did you count how many entries received 7 out of 7 Miseries? 7 exactly. It's all connected. 

That was everything we got to see so far! But more will come. The Feretory zine collects many of the above along with unique new content written by Pelle Nilsson. Don't miss out on it (or get it when it's available again). 
I want to point the following out too: You can get everything I reviewed for free. Gratis. No strings attached. It's all made for the love of the game. 

In just a year amazing content has been made and I wholeheartedly believe it wouldn't be like this if it wasn't made by such cool and welcoming people. It's an incredible service of wonderful Johan Nohr and Pelle Nilsson to do all of it for free. They know what they want out of their own game, their style is confident but incredibly accessible due to their own easy-to-approach personality. Thanks guys for your game! (this is me coping for the fact I've been cursed by this book since pledging on Kickstarter. No day has passed in which I didn't think of it. Help me, my mind is crumbling. My sleep is stolen by my cruel devotion to swedish metalheads. It's never too late for fika.)

Monday, July 6, 2020

ASE Open Table Session 1

Session #1 - 20200706

Oklea, Cleric of Eris 
Riffin, Fighter /Kadu, Dwarf
Orren, Fighter
Botello, Magic User

After hiring Orren & Botello, Riffin and Oklea felt ready to take on the weird place the treasure map pointed towards. They found a large door inside a stinking cave and a chute right next to it. With some experimentation they learnt the sick rock is able to open the door. They proceeded to do so and were the first humans to enter these rooms in a long time. In a octagonal shaped room they headed to the west first, came into a room with trashed furniture and finally onto the first "sentient" beings inside this place: A pack of Automatons taking shelter and protecting a large collection of human remains they said they use for protection and as trade goods with weirder, worse automatons. 
The party learnt a little of the place. Afterwards they walked to the west, followed a hallway and found one of the described automatons best shunned. It was shifting through a collection of human bones when it saw Botello who was trying to sneak by but couldn't due to the natural illumination coming from the walls & ceiling. 
The automaton refused negotiation and proceeded to load its combat protocol. It was dreadful and cost the life of Riffin, torn apart by a plasma projectile. 

The party was shocked and their final goodbyes were interrupted by Kadu who was coming from the hallway. Though the party hid from him initially, they quickly warmed up to one another after a bit of conversation. The usual dwarven charme. 
They ripped away the plasma weapon and copper wiring from the automaton and wandered back to the friendly automatons who traded it in for a good amount of money, 500gp. A fair deal for both sides. 
Walking east again they looked for secret rooms while exploring the dungeon further but couldn't find anything. In the north a room held a cage ontop of its ceiling.

Further north they found a strange pillar in a circular, two-leveled room. They made sure to check the ladders for potential safety hazards but the real hazards were hiding the broken pipes and camouflaging as nuclear waste. Six radioactive stirges fell upon the adventurers, two of whom were still on the ladders. They took the first chance they could get to run away. The stirges have to stay thirsty a little longer, it seems. 

This shock drove home the danger this place represents and it was decided to head back. Before finally exiting the dungeon an enormous being, made of metal and human bones dragged itself through a tight corridor to a room not far from the party. Bones cracked as its metallic body slid over the floor. This is too much. They left the dungeon and were mildly succesful though had to say goodbye to one of the companions. 

Total XP gained: 960 
Fallen friends: Riffin, Fighter Level 1.

Friday, July 3, 2020

ASE Open Table Session 0

Weekly open table exploring the Anomalous Subsurface Enviroment using Old School Essentials (and some houserules). Today the adventurers found the key to open the dungeon we will explore starting next session.  

Session #0 - 20200702
Oklea, Cleric of Eris  
Riffin, Fighting Man 

Two guards looked for help in Chelmfordshire's Muddy Cup Inn. Their caravan had been robbed by a party of lousy Moktars. Oklea & Riffin decided to help out and followed the tracks left behind by the warband. 
They walked through a pine forest and came upon an entrance of a cave. They met with a Moktar, suspicious of their being here. He is worried about the wellbeing of his brothers and sisters who've fallen ill after their most recent hunt. Oklea said he has the means to cure them, make them strong and ready for battle once again. Truthfully it was only a flask of wine. 

Their sick Moktar's cups were filled carefully with wine by Oklea. In the next room they found an old man bound & gagged. The healthy Moktar believed him to be cursed and worthy of punishment but he can't make these decisions without the chief who is sleeping in the next room. 
The old man was carried away under the pretension to distance his foul presence from the sick Moktar. 

Unbound again the old man, who introduced himself as Harvinius, spoke of a terrible but glorious place. His words grew weaker, he handed the adventurers a map and spoke that beneath Mount Rendon lies a secret kept for centuries if not longer. It takes a piece of Sick Rock to open the halls. His last wish was for people to find the place again and uncover all that lies hidden. 

Oklea had no more wine left and thus pretented left behind the wine-flask at the sick chief's bed saying it takes all that's left for the chief to recover. Riffin looked in the corner where Harvinius indicated the piece of Sick Rock was thrown: There it was. Glowing in a poisonous green. Riffin took great care when putting the mineral in his pocket.
The adventurers decided to leave. In their pockets they carry the key to a place long forgotten where incredible treasures & dangers await them.

Total XP gained: 200 

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Agri-Counterculture - Ten Wacky Farmproducts to Battle

Agri-Counterculture here collects 10 enemies that one would presumably meet while looting a cursed orchard. Each is weird because I have a hard time being serious. 
The stats are available for general OSR games (written with OSE in mind) and Mörk Borg. 
Selling prices are given in Silver Standard. 

I'm copy-pasting them down here too so you can see if it's worth the 73.4 kilobytes in memory. 
I want to mention a thank you to the friendly drawfriend from /osrg/ who gave us the wonderful image for the psychedelic pears. Luv your monster illos dude. Thank you.

Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading. 


It’s a given that this vile earth will produce nothing but foul harvest and worse. Yet there are still many who try and spread seeds on their fields with false hope. Soon they learn that all one may reap is misfortune and death. 

Collected here are products of a soil that has had enough, that would rather shake its body seven times to rid itself of the stinking parasites that we living creatures are.

Beware the products of agriculture. 

Note: Almost every beast leaves behind seeds. PCs can use them to build their own orchard. 


  1. Cowardly Fruit of Knowledge:

Highly sought after, these Apples are not only delicious but provide the consumer with vitamins enough to rest and ease the mind. Eating one alive heals 1d6 HP and reduces DR for Spells down to 8 for the next hour, heals dizziness too. Well, it would if it didn’t run away so quickly. 

They know people want them so they are quick on the take and careful in their steps. Without a contraption or quick feet, you won’t get them so easily. 

Its soul is what gives you Power. Dead it’s worth no more than a ration. 

Hitpoints: 2 

Armor: None

Morale: 3

Attack: 1, they won’t fight.

Special: They will flee as soon as they can. Trying to grab a hold of one requires a test of Agility DR14. 

Selling Price:

Alive: 60s

Dead: 5s, nothing but a snack.

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Holding metaphysical discussion in applespeech.

  2. Scouting for hiding places.

  3. Looking among the roots of trees for companions. 

  4. They heard you! The Apples are hiding in the bushes.

2. Corn-Cavalry

The largest in number when it comes to agricultural products. This got to their head. Their culture was afraid of overpopulation and abuse from other species. Nobody can push us around so easily! Only we can do that! 

Through arrogance their yellow, thin, barely thinking, delicious bodies set up a highly complex and militant culture consisting of a fighting population entirely made of Corn-cob-Soldiers. Corn-cob-cops. The defenders of the orchard. Nobody asked them for it but it’s what they do. 

Hitpoints: 6 (appear in a squad of four) 

Armor: -1d4

Morale: 10

Attack: Roll a 1d6 on the weapons table. 

Special: Their corn is explosive. When in contact with acid or fire it will pop and deal 1 damage for every 100 kernels (1d8. One corn cob has an average of about 800 kernels. Triggering acids includes stomach acids.)

With a bottle and some paper one can make corn-bombs. 

Selling Price:

Alive: 30s

Dead: 18s

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Trying to remember orders their leader gave this morning.

  2. Guarding the next gate/door in the area. 

  3. Scolding one other random agricultural-product for stepping over a pedantic law only they know of (roll 1d10 or choose)

  4. Skinning a fallen companion and gathering their kernels to use for bomb-building. A few cobs are crying after them even though emotions are not allowed in the field. 

Stay out of trouble

3. Sour Cow

A massive vehicle of an animal. An incoming car crash. Why wouldn’t animals have the privilege or growing deranged as well in our times? This Cow has all the reasons to be as sour as it is: Mistreatment. Neglection. Metaphysics. The Economy. You can’t call it “irrational anger”.

There is not a world of difference between you and this Cow.

Hitpoints: 38

Armor: None

Morale: 10

Attack: Bite d6 / Charge d8 / Sour Milk d4

Special: The aggressive Sour Cow will charge into combat when visual contact with the enemy is made. DR12 Agility to dodge the cow. It will run past its target for a large enough distance to charge again. It will do so until its opponent is near or hit. 

It will focus on one foe and not stop until they are dead. 

It can aim its udder (1d4 charges lol) and shoot a target with sour milk for 1d4 damage. 

The acid will reduce the armor tier by one. The foul smell will attract other creatures on a 1 in 6. 

Selling Price:

Alive: 80s

Dead: 50s

Udder: 20s 

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Chasing another creature they spotted in the distance.

  2. Lying in obvious hiding, waiting for the next target to get close.

  3. Feeding on the carcass of another creature. It’s not enough.

  4. Faking an injury so other creatures come closer. Overdone painful moos. 

4. Dung

Shit speaks! Sure wish it didn’t! In guttural sounds it lamentates its existence as a literal piece of filth, self-pitying and depressed. It complains about its situation and insults itself.

Talking to it is a mistake, this is how they bind you to it. Encouraging words will only fuel its destructive cycle of misery and manipulation.

They have no intention of bettering themselves, saying they’re too weak. They’d rather continue to complain and bother everyone. They don’t care about you obviously. They only want to talk about their painful existence. Not popular at parties or with fairly-adjusted people.

Hitpoints: Can’t die through weapons, will split into multiple pieces which keep on complaining. 

For spells, treat as if they had 1 HP. 

Armor: None

Morale: 4

Attack: Nasal penetration 1d4 per turn (foul smell hurts when exposed to for a long time)

Special: They hug the feet of a creature close by and begin to dry, the creature forever bound to hear the Dung bash itself in mean shit-talk. 

Can be dodged (Agility DR8) but this will fuel the Dung with even more anxiety and self-hatred. 

A creature bound can be freed with a bit of digging and hard work.

Selling Price:

Nobody is going to buy your shit

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Lying in mud. 

  2. Crying at the feet of a creature, not realizing it’s long dead. 

  3. Having a breakdown (loud and mean insults against itself)

  4. Trying to manipulate an intelligent creature into staying
    (Are you going to leave me like everyone else? It’s no surprise! I am literal shit after all! I can’t do anything right! I thought you were my only friend. I am disgusted and gross, why would anyone want to be with me?!) 

  1. Gross Grapes

The Gross Grapes are a round, pudgy mistake. Its body soft and squishy, torn apart with scars and wrinkles, reminds of mutated raisins. A perpetual smile sticks on their face. 

They mean not to harm you, the torment they cause is only a byproduct in their search for nourishment. They devour each other if they have no other means of food.

They know you’re coming, they heard it through the grapevine. 

Hitpoints: 9

Armor: -1d6

Morale: 7

Attack: Acidic Teeth d6

Special: When bitten they cannot roll for Armor but they will scream for help to call other Grapes. 1d4-1 appear. 

Selling Price:

Captured: 60s

Dead: 30s

Pieces of Grape: 6s (can be harvested for 1d4 per corpse)

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Standing in an Ouroboros-cycle where every Grape scratches off and eats a piece from the one to their right. 

  2. Laugh incessantly caused by squeezing one of their fallen. The purple soup surging from the Gross-Grape-Corpse amuses them. 

  3. Eating weird things in the area.

  4. Old, pregnant Grape in labor. Two new Baby-Grabes burst out of her. Every Grabe assembled feels touched and in awe. 

6. Hen and Her Horrible Offspring

A foul animal twisted into birthing cursed offsprings. They prefer a peaceful domain, undisturbed, with no one stealing their children away or causing pain. They sit in their nests which are located near houses or huts, alarming the residents with a shrill scream.


Hitpoints: 16

Armor: None

Morale: 9

Attack: Beak 1d4 


War-Siren: Warns all other creatures in the area. Chance for random encounters doubled. Random creature appears (roll 1d10)

Lays a new egg every round not moving or attacking. Will send them into the fight. 

Selling Price:

Alive: 35s

Dead: 16s

Eyes: 12s

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Brooding on a nest, sleeping and warming its children.

  2. Sorting out their eggs, classifying the good and the bad ones. 

  3. Fighting with another Hen for territory. 

  4. Pecking the kernels of a Corn-Cavalry.

7. Hen’s Eggs

Black eggs with legs. Explode on impact. Can be used as ammunition or grenade. 

Hitpoints: 6 (treat as swarm with 6 Eggs)

Armor: None

Morale: 6

Attack: Explode! 1d2 damage per Egg in swarm


Selling Price:

Alive: 6s

Dead: Useless

8. Lettuce run, quick!

A gigantic ball of lettuce. Two eyes that close themselves when it starts rolling after you. 

It doesn’t need you as food or as sacrifice or anything like that. It will kill you because it’s fun to chase and roll over people. Every car-owner has had to deal with these urges and this Lettuce embraces them. 

Non unpopular as traps.

Hitpoints: 24

Armor: None

Morale: 12

Attack: Roll over creature 1d12 (falling dice-size)

Special: Shrinks in size when a fourth of its health is lost. Damage dice reduced to the next dice-size (1d12>1d10>1d8>1d6). 

Selling Price:

Size of the Lettuce-ball matters when selling it.

Alive: 48s multiplied with its current HP divided by total HP (e.g: 48 * (12/24) = 24)

Dead: 18s multiplied with its current HP divided by total HP

Salad Eyes: 16s 


What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Charging against an obstacle as part of training.

  2. Bouncing in excitement.

  3. Sleeping.

  4. Rolling through the next linear hallway.

9. Probably Psychedelic Pears

These pears grew up next to Uncle Fester’s lil mushroom colony. While they ripened on the outside, they did so on the inside also. They’ve reached abilities and understanding you will never experience and have only heard about from a hippie who said something about humans only using a small part of the brain and something something psionics at 100% usage. 

Tim Leary was right but he was talking about the wrong species: It’s the Pears! 

They have only legs and a big, juicy body. Their insides are filled with weird brain matter. Communication, with you and with each other, is done telepathically.

Hitpoints: 6

Armor: None

Morale: They know when to flee and when to fight. 

Attack: Psionic blast 1d8 (roll Presence for Defense).


Telekinesis: They are able to levitate normal-sized objects which they will use for defense so you don’t get too close. 

Teleport: After concentrating for 2 rounds they can teleport to any spot in a 12 mile radius. 

When consumed test Presence DR12. On a success you gain the ability of Telekinesis & Teleport for the next hour. On a failure, you still learn Telekinesis but you talk hippie-bullshit too. 

On a fumble, you only talk hippie-bullshit. 

Selling Price:

Alive: 38s

Dead: 20s

Brain: 12s

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Astrally travelling through the 4th wall and appearing in front of you (GM should prepare pears and put them on the table now.) Might or might not try to communicate with the players. Might or might not be the last straw before your friends think you’re a lunatic.

  2. The pears openly talk of manipulating the GM psychically. If they are not stopped, the GM will lose their impartiality and root for the pears over the players. Play dirty. 

  3. They test their abilities on a Sour Cow. They will stand in front of one and stare until it falls over. Success on a 4 in 6. 

  4. Attempting to construct a dimensional gate to a plane not befallen by the apocalypse. There is none and they know it but they have nothing better to pass the time with.

made by anon

10. Thirsty Tomatoes

Their small size, red colour and fanged mouth is rather cute when you ignore their bloodsucking nature. Be careful when trotting through bushes for Tomatoes that await you there! They jump on a creature, bite right in and suck their blood. The wounds left behind heal slower, bleed harsher than when the Tomato sucked on it still. 

Comparable to when a knife in an accident gets stuck in your gut. Don’t pull it out! That will only make it worse.

Hitpoints: 1

Armor: None

Morale: 4 

Attack: Suck Blood 1d2 

Special: Hide in a secret spot and jump on a creature. A sudden sharp ding when they bite in like a tick. 1d3 damage for every 10-minute-turn the Tomato sticks to the body. They let off after sucking a total of 8 points of health, having grown in thrice the size. 

Needs to be removed surgically. Brute-force leads to harsh bleeding (Infection or 1d6 per turn). 

Selling Price:

Alive (normal): 8s

Dead (normal): 3s

Alive (sucked a lot of blood): 20s

Dead (filled with a lot of blood): 10s

What are they doing (1d4)?

  1. Sucking away at a Sour Cow. Many vomit the blood back up, indigestible.

  2. Disguise themselves among the bed of roses here. 

  3. A nest of tomatoes builds an abode out of the corpse of a human. 

  4. Lying in wait at the next gate out of this area, hoping the party comes close enough.

Copyright by Konami